1. It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3AM.

2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet.

4. The command "Shut the blood heck up" means just that!

5. That cats have every right to be in the living room.

6. Pooping on the floor is not something deserving of a treat.

7. Barking at guest 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid.

8. No, we said sit!

9. I know it's a nice leg, but don't ride it.

10. Getting up does not mean we are going for a walk.

11. Just because I'm eating doesn't mean you can.

12. If you look at me with those soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. Not.
Not. Not. Oh, okay. Just this once.

13. No, it's my food. Oh, alright then, just a small piece.