A stands for Abnormal Birth -- The only kind you hear of after you have your bitch in whelp.

B stands for Box for Whelping -- Essential piece of equipment which is used at the onset of labor, but which is later left in order to produce the first pup on your bed.

C stands for Cardiac Arrest -- Not common in whelping bitches, but often seen in owners around 62nd day of bitches gestation.

D stands for Dog -- What you wish you had bought in the first place.

E stands for Euphemisms -- For some reason adopted by breeders. e.g. "Puppies are thriving" means puppies have just eaten next months housekeeping budget in five days.

F stands for False Alarms -- Games played by whelping bitches to keep owners on their toes.

G stands for Garden -- What you had before your puppies.

H stands for Hand Rearing -- Not recommended unless you have eight hands.

I stands for Imperfections -- Your puppies, of course, have none.

J stands for Joy -- Despite other comments, puppies bring a lot of it with them.

K stands for Kennel -- That shed in the garden that used to stay empty until you stored tools in it.

L stands for Long Sleep Ins -- What you don't have for a very long time.

M stands for Milk -- You will need a lot of it. Recommend developing friendship with someone in the trade.

N stands for Next Time -- Next time you'll be more organized!

O stands for Old Clothes -- The only kind you have after rearing puppies.

P stands for Pedigree -- After writing out a five generation pedigree eight times, you will agree there is a lot to be said for mongrels.

Q stands for Quota -- Dictionary definies this words as "finite quantity". Visualize litter of eight - then number nine arrives.

R stands for Refurnishing -- Takes place after sorting out debris once the last puppy is gone.

S stands for Stress -- Can be bought in cans. Can also be found accompanied by strain in owners.

T stands for Teeth -- Teething puppies are an upholster's dream. See "R".

U stands for Useful Articles -- Scissors, cotton, LARGE WHISKEY.

V stands for Vet -- The chap whose phone number you learn by heart.

W stands for Weaning -- Excellent method for getting the smallest amount of milk and food over the largest area of floors, walls, etc. in the shortest time.

X stands for X-rayed -- What your head should have been before you started all this.

Y stands for Yellow Fever -- About the only disease you decide the puppies don't have when they sneeze the first time.

Z stands for Zigzag Zoom! -- Puppies do it when you try to catch them to put them back in their kennel.